Thailand Part 3 - Fishy Beef and Pink Umbrellas

            Anxious after my stay in Pattaya, I wanted to go ashore in Ko Samui, a small island in the south of Thailand. I was suppose to stay on the ship for “In Port Manning”, a safety measure that ensures that if any emergencies happen on board while we are docked, we have enough crew on board to handle the emergency. The Ko Samui port was my turn to stay on the ship. However I was determined to go ashore. The only way I could possibly get off the ship was if I got someone to stay on the ship in my stead. I knew my next-door neighbor (who use to be my roommate) worked late hours and usually slept until the afternoon. I went next door and knocked. After a few moments, he answered the door in his boxers and his eyes barely open. He had looked as if I had woken him up and the room being pitch black confirmed my suspicion. I asked him if he could cover my I.P.M. and he agreed and then gave me his ID card and he slammed the door and went back to sleep.

            I got onto the tender boat and slowly cruised to the dock from where the ship was anchored. Getting onto the dock, I made my way down into the town area. The town was small and consisted of small shops, restaurants and Thai massage places. I was looking specifically for a place to get my last Thai lunch for the cruise. Right off the dock, there was a restaurant advertising free Wifi and Thai food. I walked in and grabbed a menu.

The menu looked good but I was wondering if they took US dollar. After asking a few confused employees, I saw some crew from the ship so I went over their table and asked them and they said that they did. I looked down at the food they were eating and asked them if their food was any good. The one girl Robyn looked at me and shook her head. She said it was not very good and she was very disappointed. That being a deal breaker for me, I decided to move my business elsewhere in search for a better place.

            I started walking deeper into the town and figured if I wanted to find a good Thai food place, It would probably be a little out of the way and also would have Thai citizens eating there as opposed to old white passengers herding into it. I walked up to a tiny street that looked about right and hung a right. The street had a few shops but they seemed to have nobody in them. I finally reached a place with pots outside under a blue tarp. I looked into it and saw a couple of Thai people sitting and eating. I thought to my self “This must be the place!” I walked in and the lady who was there looked shocked that I had walked into her restaurant. Her friend walked up to me and asked, “Are you here to eat?” I told her “yes, I am. Do you have a menu?” She told me “No, come over to these pots and point out what you want.” I walked over to the pots and lifted the lids to see the food inside. Some of the dishes I recognized while others looked like death.  I picked 3 dishes that looked safe and I sat down on the bench by the cook. She brought me over a bowl of rice with my three dishes served on top. She went ahead and made herself a bowl and sat down with me.

            She asked me my name and I told her Derek and she introduced herself as Jennifer and she started to chitchat with me. While she was talking, I took my first bite of the green bean and beef dish. It was really, really, REALLY bad. The beef tasted like day old fish that was left rotting in the sun. It was served at room temperature and was really nasty. It was almost nasty enough for me to spit it out but what kept me from doing so was the woman sitting across from me talking and I figured I would probably insult her if I started spitting out her friend’s food. So I sat there, talking to this woman while I shoved massive amounts of that dish into my mouth so I could hopefully get rid of it in a few painfully swift swallows.

            After giving up on finishing the dish, I moved on to the coconut curry. This was actually not half bad. It was still served at room temperature, but was at least edible. I tried mixing the curry with the green bean and beef dish, hoping that it would dilute the fishy flavor, but it was no use. The fishy beef was there to stay. The last dish I got was a chicken and vegetable dish, which was still served at room temperature but at least more edible than the green beans and beef.

            While I’m trying to eat all this mediocre food, Jennifer is still talking to me. She gives me her whole life story on how she use to be in the hotel business but now owns her own shop here in town. She talks about her trip to Europe and her family and her friends and her friend’s family and she just goes on and on and on… Her English was ok, but I only maybe understood 50% of what she was saying. I just shook my head, smiled and tried to not make a face as I ate more of the fishy beef.

            After we finished eating I asked what I owed for the meal. She added it up and it came out to about 55 Baht ($2 ). I pulled out my American money and she told me that they don’t take US currency. Jennifer was nice enough to pay for my meal and told me we could go to a bank and exchange my American money for Thai Baht and I could pay her back then. She suggested that she could show me her store since it was across the street from the bank. I figured the lady was nice enough; the least I could do is poke my head into her store for a moment.

            We left the restaurant and it was pouring rain. Jennifer had brought an umbrella so she handed it to me and I held it over the both of us. It was kind of nice how trusting she was of me. I also the thought it would be funny if anyone from the ship saw me walking some 45 year old Thai woman down the streets of Ko Samui while holding a pink umbrella over the both of us.

            She stopped at a booth where they were selling lotus flower shaped candles. She introduces me to the old woman behind the booth selling the candles and explains that she is an old friend of her mothers. She spends her time making the ginger wax from scratch and she carves each one by hand. She only sets up the booth when the cruise ship is in town. The other days she stays at home and takes care of her children and her grand children. She hands me a piece of raw wax that she made herself and asked me to smell it. I brought the white, formless wax to my nose and took a deep breath. The wax smelled of ginger and was very pleasant. I handed it back to her, smiled and told her it smelled very nice. I looked down at the carvings and each one had a different color and different presentation. They were very nice but I had no interest in buying one.

            I told the woman thank you and we walked two stores over to Jennifer’s store. She turned around and exclaimed, “Here it is!” The store was closed and dark inside but I could still see through the glass doors and see that I looked very nice and clean. She sold a variety of things such as soaps, candles, woman’s purses and bags, vases and other things. She pointed across the street at the bank and said I should exchange my money there and come back and she could show me her store.

            I walked across the street to the bank and tried to explain to the young teller that I only wanted to exchange 10 out of the 20 dollar bill that I gave her but I think she misunderstood and she ended up exchanging the entire 20 dollars.

            I went back to Jennifer’s store where she had opened the door for me and laid a mat down to take off my sandals and wipe my wet feet on it. After wiping my feet, she sat me down on a chair and offered me some hot tea. I told her I was fine and I did’nt really want a cup. She continued to chat with me and while this is going on, I’m wondering, “What is her angle here? Is she trying to get me to buy something from her store? Is she trying to mug me or drug me with contaminated hot tea? Maybe she is just looking for someone to practice her English with.” (Which by the way didn’t get any better through out the day and I still only understood half of what she was saying).

            She then asked me why I picked her friends restaurant out of all the places in town. I made up some lie about how it was one of the first places that I saw walking off of the pier and it looked good from the outside. She started to ask questions about the ship and then started to ask if I could get her a connection to get passengers to come by her store. I told her that I was just a musician and I had no affiliation with that part of the ship and that If she wanted to enquire about it, she would have to email someone shore side at corporate (I sounded pretty official giving that sentence btw).

            I started go get nervous and decided maybe it was time to get a move on. I reached for my wallet and gave her the 55Baht. She then gave me her business card and told me next time I’m in Ko Samui, I should email her and she could cook a homemade Thai meal for me. I told her I would like that and I gave her my business card from my wallet and she recommended we add each other on Facebook. I walked over to the door and she asked If I wanted an umbrella. I told her “No Thanks” but she then told me that she wouldn’t charge me for it so I figured if it was a free umbrella, why not? She scurries quickly to the back of the store and pulls out a bright pink umbrella. She opens it up and the writing across the top read in Thai and she told me that it translates to “I Love Thailand!” I figured it might just say “I Am a Schmuck” and I wouldn’t know either way. I told her thank you for the company for the afternoon and told her “See you next time”

            I made my way back to the pier kind of scratching my head wondering. Was she really that genuinely nice or was it all a set up to get me to her shop? Was she planning on mugging me? I then maybe realized that maybe not everyone is trying to rip you off at these cruise ports. Maybe there are still a few people left who just want to talk to you and make a genuine contact with another human being. Maybe it’s possible that doing this job has jaded me in a way where I find it difficult to trust these strangers. I think I need to maybe accept the fact that sometimes its ok to let your guard down just a little, just enough, where you can possibly make a new friend.           -DB

When I got back to my cabin, this was waiting for me on the floor. Looks like more adventures ahead!!

Thailand Part 2 - Thai Lunch and Elephants

            Before getting back on to Vince’s motorcycle, we talked about what we should do next. I told him I wanted to see the Nongnooch Tropical Garden that is suppose to have elephant rides and Bengal Tigers which you are able to handle. I also mentioned I wanted to try some authentic Thai food. He said that there are dozens of little food shacks along the way to the tropical garden so we could just stop in at any random one we see and it should be really good.

            We sped off into the dirty Pattaya roads and made our way in the direction of the tropical garden. Riding on the main highway, I notice all the exotic eastern looking architecture mixed with modern style building. On one side of the street you can have a massive, golden Buddhist temple and on the other side you could have a 3-story Samsung retail building. A true meeting of east meets west.

The main city gave way to smaller businesses and restaurants. Vince found a small food shack off the side of the road and pulls over to the side. After taking off our helmets and re-adjusting our messy hair, we walked into the outdoor food shack. There were about 5 wooden picnic tables that we could sit on and right next to them was the “kitchen” which was no more than a cutting block, a stove and a griddle. We sat down and Vince asked what I wanted to try. The menu was entirely in Thai with zero English but luckily Vince spoke a little Thai. I told him I wanted to try something spicy like Spicy Mint Chicken or something similar with a little kick. He luckily knew how to say that in Thai so he went ahead and ordered for me. He quickly turned to me and asked how well I could handle spice. I replied to him that I could hold my own pretty well. He returned to the lady at the kitchen (which was about 5 feet from our table) and finished ordering. I looked around and saw a few locals eating near us. The food they had looked pretty good so I figured we were in for something good.

As we waited for our food, we chatted some more about music and guitar. He explained that the jazz scene in Pattaya wasn’t so good but there were a few guys in town who were ok. An Italian friend of his plays solo jazz guitar pretty well he said and if their was time, he’d like to introduce me to him and possibly jam. It sounded fun so I told him that I would love to if we had time.

We were then interrupted with our food. The nice woman set our food down in front of us. As she set mine down, Vince realized that he had mis-ordered and got me Spicy Basil Chicken instead. I could smell the delicious spices from the dish and told him I didn’t mind eating it. I took the first bite and the flavor made my mouth implode. It was like every millimeter of the inside of my mouth wanted to suck its self in and absorb all the exotic flavors of every bite. It was what I was looking for. The spice level at first didn’t seem so bad but as I got about half way through the meal, it started to catch up with me. I started sweating and my face became flush. I thought that if it was just a little spicier, I wouldn’t be able to eat it. It wasn’t so I managed to finish the whole thing and the inside of my mouth afterwards was tingling.

Vince was nice enough to pay the bill (which for both of us with Coke’s was about $3) and then we headed off into the tropical garden. The garden was off the beaten track a little bit but it was nice to get out of the main city and out in the “boonies”, as Vince said for a while. After about 20 minutes on the road, we get to the front entrance. We hang a left and drive down this beautifully landscaped road. On either side we could see nurseries where they were growing several different types of Palm trees and other plants. As we road further, the landscape flattened out and I could see large green mountains in the distance. It reminded me of all the Thai paintings you see in most Thai food restaurants in the US. This however, was the real deal and it was exciting to see it in person.

We pulled up to the front gate and the guy who walked from the main hut to us asked for 450 Baht (about $15) in perfect English. Vince asked him a few questions and it turns out the guy went to college in Ohio and his and Vince’s alma matters were rivals so they joked football. He then asked Vince if he had a Thai drivers license. Vince said that he did but he would have to get off his seat and open it up to get it. The guy said that he believed him and dropped his price for Vince to 80 Baht. We paid our admission and drove inside.

After driving in circles we found a parking spot and made our way into the park. As we tried looking at the map of the park we got confused by the poor layout of the map and ended up outside the park again. After stopping for a minute and finding our way back to the main road, we finally made it to where they kept the elephants.

As soon as we made it to the elephant pen, one of the large beasts mounted one of the females and started thrusting. It sort of made it an awkward moment for both of us and I figured the only way to save the moment was to take out my camera and start taking photos National Geographic style.

Once they were finished we made our way into the center of the park. I managed to find the booth where they sold tickets for elephant rides and paid my 450 Baht fee. They sent me to this elevated booth where they brought an elephant with a seat mounted to the top. I carefully got in and threw my camera to Vince. There was a driver who was sitting on his neck of the gentle beast who gently nudged the back of his hear with his sandled foot. We started to move slowly as the animal isn’t really known for its speed.

We waddled through the park and everyone looked and waved at me. I smiled and waved back at them. It sort of made you feel like a kind riding an elephant by all these short Thai people.

We rode a few blocks and turned around. The elephant moved very slowly which sort of made a fast walker like myself kind of impatient. But what it lacked in speed, it truly lacked in comfort. The elephant waddles so much and the seat moves around in every direction, which made for an uncomfortable ride. I guess they are probably good for mowing through thick jungle but in the city, I might want to stick with a car.

The driver took me back to the booth and I got down. Before I got off the seat I reached down and petted the elephants back. It had very thick skin, which almost felt like toned muscles all over. It had long thin black hairs that grew off the skin about 4 inches. It was different than what I had imagined but was still cool to pet one.

I after getting down, the final thing I wanted to do was take a picture with a Bengal Tiger. Their website promoted taking a picture with Tigers and also feeding little tiger cubs. After looking at the poorly drawn map again and taking more wrong turns, we found the “Animal Zoo”. We walked by some birds and emu looking birds till we finally got to the section with the Tigers.

The Tiger was chained to an elevated concrete slab about 3 feet off the ground. The chain its self was maybe 3 feet also so it was barely able to stand on its feet. Several people crowded around the scared animal. His eyes were wide open and definitely afraid of all the people surrounding him. I have been to several zoos in the past but this for me was crossing the line. This would have never flown in the states. This animal was being mistreated and deserved better than to be chained to a slab and gawked at. Whenever one of the spectators would try to get too close, he would get up and growl and take a swipe at him. There was no protection for the spectators besides that chain attached to the Tiger’s neck so if you got too close and didn’t watch what you were doing, the Tiger could easily grab you and I would imagine slice you open.

I approached the tiger slowly as to try not to frighten him. I got as close to him as I thought was safe which was about 5 feet from him. I got my camera out and snapped a few photos of him (with the flash off of course) and took a minute to admire him. It very much reminded me of a larger version of any house cat. One that you could potentially have hanging out on your couch at home and watch reruns of House M.D. with. The kind that scratches the shit out of your couch and you have to tell it “NO!’ at as it scurries and hides in it’s favorite hiding place. Just as I was thinking this, another person got too close to the Tiger and he took a swipe at him with his large paws which came about 6 inches from this guy’s face. I then came back to my senses. This is no domestic cat. This is a wild animal and he doesn’t see us as couch buddies, he sees us as intruders and dinner.

One of the guys who worked at the Zoo came over and asked if I wanted to take a picture with the Tiger. “It’s only 150 Baht!” he said. I thought this guy had to be fucking joking. This Tiger was ready to maul somebody and he thought I was dumb enough to PAY him to go close enough to this tiger where he would surely eat my face. I laughed and politely told him no. I think my life is worth a little more than 150 Baht.

Looking at my wristwatch, I realized we were quickly running out of time. We went back to the motorcycle and stopped by the Bali Hai Pier where we got a last minute Thai meal at a quaint outdoor restaurant. We got some amazing coconut red curry and fried rice and spent maybe 2 dollars on the entire meal. We finished and realized that I only had 30 minutes to be back to the ship! We paid our bill and hit the road.

We flew down the highway at illegal speeds. We had to be going about 65 mph down this city street. I looked down at his speedometer that was apparently broken since I figured we were going faster than zero miles per hour. My panic started to creep up on me again and I just closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. When I opened my eyes, I saw signs for the port. I carefully took my left hand off the now slippery metal handle behind me and looked at my watch. It said we had 15 minutes left to get back to the ship. Vince charged down these streets, blowing off red lights as we go.

 We finally made it back to the ship with 4 minutes to spare. I take off my helmet and thanked him for every thing. Vince proved to be a good host and I told him next time I come back to Thailand, I’ll look him up. He said it was his pleasure and that next time he’ll show me more of the local hangouts. I rushed back to the ship and barely made it in time. Thinking back, I realized we covered a lot of ground and realized that it was probably the most fun day I’ve had on my whole contract. Tomorrow we were shipping out for Ko Samui. I hoped I was going to has as much fun…                     -DB

Grumpy cat.

Thailand Part 1: The Sanctuary of Truth

           Upon reaching Laem Chabang Thailand, I contacted a friend that I knew that lives there namedVince. He use to be a physics teacher at my high school and he also played guitar so we use to go see jazz shows together and jam. We made some arrangements and early that morning he picked me up on his motorcycle. After some friendly words and a handshake we decided to hit the road. What I failed to mention to him was that I had never ridden on the back of a motorcycle before in my life… and frankly, it scared me shitless.

            I mean, what is suppose to be proper motorcycle passenger etiquette? Do you hold on to his hips

 while riding like an akward middle school prom date? That seems a little too intimate for guy on guy for 

me. Do you hold on to the sides of the seat? The metal handle in the back of the seat? It seems like it

 could be a fine line between appropriate and awkward. I thought the best way to start was with one 

hand on the back handle and the other on my leg that also rested on his side for balance.

            We gun it out of the cruise terminal and then I start to freak out. My heart gives flurries of 

convulses and fear starts to come over me. I feel at all times that I could suddenly lean the wrong way 

and knock us both over off the motorcycle. I close my eyes and bite my tongue, hoping that the pain will 

distract me from the fear of falling. I feel the wind slam against my face and blow my hair straight back. 

I’m still panicking. I try to focus on my breathing. Maybe if I just try to relax and slow my breathing down, 

I can get over it. I inhale air and exhale very slowly and try to control my heart rate. It’s no use. 

I’m still freaking out. Suddenly, as I was about to lose it and ask him to stop this crazy thing, Vince 

starts asking me some questions. Suddenly I’m distracted and am forgetting about falling. We start 

talking and finally the abrasive wave of panic washes away and I return to being able to relax.

            We discuss what I’ve been up to and how the cruise ship life is. He talks about how he moved 

to Thailand and what he has been doing here. He explains that he does yard work and goes to the local 

bars and plays pool with the locals. He seems to be enjoying his retirement and seems happy. The 

constant flow of the conversation keeps my mind at ease.

            After some detours (and a few wrong turns), we reach the Sanctuary of Truth. The Sanctuary of 

Truth is a temple that started construction in 1981 and is still currently under construction. It uses both 

Hindu and Buddhist themes through out the architecture and sculptures but does not subscribe its self 

solely as either one religion. We walked down these old wooden stairs on the side of a hill covered in 

trees and bush; and when we reached the bottom, it dropped us off in front of the massive building.

            The temple was incredible. It stands at a massive 350ft and the detail involved with his 

construction was mind blowing. Every inch of every corner of the building consisted of some kind of 

collage of sculptures of Hindu and Buddhist religious carictures. It was so condensed with these works, 

that it takes a few minutes to just have your eyes focus in and take in all of its dense artwork. The entire 

building is made from wood, which includes all the sculptures, and other art works. We started to walk 

around the massive building and stopping every 30 feet just to look and every angle of the building 

that offered its own unique design and collections of sculptures that were located on the roof, ceiling, 

walls, doorways and eves. 

          After making our way inside, we found that it was even more detailed than the outside. The walls 

had small, dense collages of carvings which was like looking at a Thai version of a ‘Where’s Waldo?’ 

page. It took several minutes to be able to look at every wall and see all the work that was done. In the 

middle it had a shrine where some people were on their hands and knees praying. We quietly walked by 

them as we looked around. The ceiling was also carved elaborately. Some larger sculptures of elephants 

and cobras and woman were in the high corners of the ceiling along side the smaller ones. Vince knew a 

little bit about both religions so he started to explain the significance of the different animals and symbols 

and how they were apart of the religions.

            Surrounding the building were some elephant rides that you could pay 450 Baht ($15) and 

ride around the site. There was also a few restaurants and other vendors where you could buy things 

such as memorabilia. None of those things really interested us but it was still cool to see some elephants 

up close.

            After stealing some last minute photos, we decided to go. The temple was along side the beach so 

as I looked back at it on my way out at the top of the stairs, I could see the ocean and the rest of the body 

of Thailand in the distance. What a place to worship I thought as I left. The temple is supposed to be 

completed in the year 2025. After it gets completed, I would love to come back and see what more they 

have added.         -DB      

            

                        

Sydney's Circular Quay.

After some prior plans fell through, I found myself sailing into Sydney with no idea of what I was going to do. I usually like to find some place of interest or some restaurant or SOMETHING to check out when I get into a new port. Today however, I had nothing. I had no idea of what to do in a huge city like Sydney. I figured I’d just get off the ship, keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. I packed my camera, grabbed some cash and headed out.

            As soon as I got off the ship, I saw the impressive skyline. A metropolis city with gigantic glass buildings, and a train that wraps around them like a toy locomotive around a Christmas tree. I found the luck I was looking for. The ship was docked in an area called the Circular Quay, which is actually the train station but the whole area is filled with restaurants, ferry rides, street performers and artists. On the one side of the harbor, you have the Sydney Opera House. On the other you have an area that is called “The Rocks” which is a European influenced neighborhood that has plenty of shops, restaurants and nightlife that attracts the youth of Sydney and tourists a like.

Sydney skyline.

To my immediate right I had the Museum of Contemporary Art in a modern style building with some cubism influences. On the front lawn area of the museum, they had what looked like a 40 foot stainless steel contact lens. It was tilted upward so that the lens could reflect the sky above it. Today, being an overcast day, it reflected a greyish color that really made no enhancement in the piece. I could imagine though, on a sunnier day, it could reflect a blue-ish color that could give the piece more of an impact.

Museum of Contemporary Art.

Walking further along I found some street performers. This one in particular, was some aboriginal tribes men singing some music to a pre-recorded CD and in nothing more than loin cloths. They had their bodies painted with crude, primitive designs that they had done themselves. The artwork appeared to be of some aboriginal significance but I couldn’t tell either way. It’s not like I’m an expert on the subject or something.

After hanging with the Aboriginals for a while I decided to walk on. Walking past the very congested ferry terminal, I managed to squeeze by and make it to the next area that was mostly high-end shops and restaurants. It was a nice area to be in and the outside seating for the restaurants gave me a little peek on what each one was like. Very important looking people in suits drinking wine and eating bread on white cloth covered tables. A more glamorous insight into the local Sydney lifestyle.

The Abo's.

The further I walked, the closer I could see I was getting to the Sydney Opera House. I decided to get cut to the chase and head straight there. After walking past some more street performers and stores, I get to the opera house. To get the front doors, you have to walk approximately fifty million tiny stairs to get there. The stairs were small enough where taking one at a time seemed like it would take a life time but skipping by two’s was just awkward enough where you didn’t want to risk an embarrassing fall. So I decided to just jog up the stairs so it didn’t take forever. Running up there made me feel like Rocky in the Rocky I and when I got to the top, I almost raised my fists in the air but decided not to as there was probably a hundred people around me who would probably think I was crazy.

The Opera House was closed because it was Good Friday so I was unable to get inside. The outside though was still impressive. These giant oblong arches that stuck out in seemingly random directions. The arches were massive and stood maybe a hundred feet high. They were so large that I had to go half way down the steps again just to get a decent picture of them. They had stained glass inside the arched that reflected the light from the dark luminous sky above it.

The dark Sydney Opera House.

Getting a few photos of the opera house in, I headed back. Along the way, I saw an artist drawing on a massive canvas on the ground. He was using pastels and creating a religious piece that was impressive. He had a small group of people crowded around him. He had a sign next to him that basically said that he does this for free. He doesn’t sell his works but donates them to charitable organizations. He only asks for tips to supply him with his materials so that he can keep creating his art. Whether it was a B.S. story or not, I wasn’t sure, but he was talented to I put whatever spare change I had in my pockets and put it in the tip basket in support.

Walking by the Museum of Contemporary Art again, I found myself back to the sip. The street life here in the Circular Quay area was exciting to participate in. It reminded me of the promenade in Santa Monica but with an Aussie twist to it. I would of liked to spend a week there just hanging out and trying all the shops and restaurants; but that’s just nature of my job. You only get the time you get where ever you may be. Who knows, I may be back another time. If I do, I will be more prepared and I’ll at least know there will be something to do at the Circular Quay.                   -DB

The "stainless steel contact lens"